Jana zaroori tha..

“Sahab ji, aapse ek baat puchun?”

Saamne rakhi milne aane walon ki register pe sign kar rahe Arnav se vahan ke chaukidaar ne bebaak hi ye sawaal kar lia tha.

“Haan kaka, puchiye na”.

“Aap pichhle 1saal se lagatar har mahine ke akhri ravivar ko yahan aate hain, saara din rehte hain aur shaam ko chale jaate hain. Kaun hai aisa apka jisse milne aap aate hain? Itne log rehte hain yahan par koi kisi se milne nahi aata is pagalkhaane me aur wo bhi lagatar to bilkul bhi nhi”.

Kuch muskuraate hue Arnav ne kaha, “Kaka log apni duniya me khush hain islye shayad kisi apne ke yahan hone se fark nhi padta, par meri to duniya hi yhin hain, fir kaise na aun main?”

Ye keh kar, apne chashme ko thoda thik krte hue wo sidhe ward no. 82 me ghus gya.

“Arnav baba, humko malum tha tum aata hi hoga islye to hum isko jaldi se ready kar dia”, ward incharge ne Arnav ko dekh kar kaha.

“Thank you sister. Ab main jaun usse milne?” “Haan haan baba jao aap, koi disturb nhi krega.” Ye keh kar sister wahan se hanste hue chali gai.

Arnav muskura to raha tha par use us halat me dekhna bardaasht nhi tha use. Kya kasoor tha us masoom ka jo chanchal mann hote hue bhi aaj shaant thi.

Wo saamne bed pe leti thi, baal khule, kuch safed se ho gae the, aankein patthar ho gai thi, aur safed kapdon me bas lipti hui bejaan pdi thi Arnav ki duniya uski nazron ke saamne. Haan, Arnav ki duniya, uski Khushi.

Bagal ki chair bed ke paas khinch ke Arnav jaise hi baithha, Khushi ne ungliyan hila di jaise keh ri ho, kitni derr lga dete ho tum aate aate.

“Haan, haan Madam, aa gya main. Aur ye dekho tumhari favourite ice-cream bhi lekar aya hun.”

Arnav janta tha ki Khushi aaj bhi koi jawab nhi degi par fir bhi use ye ehsaas nhi dilana chahta tha ki wo zindagi ke aise padaav pe hai jahan khud se baithh bhi nhi sakti.

Uske safed kapde dekh ke Arnav ka mann jaise har baar tukdon me ho jata, kya ye vahi Khushi hai jise rangon se itna pyaar tha, narangi aur gulabi rang ke to itne kapde hua karte the uske pas ki sale hi lag jae. Kya sach me Khushi ke baal itte safed ho gae the, jo humesha kaha karti thi ki apne baal na lambe kar ke burgundy colour karvaungi main. Ye vahi Khushi thi jo din bhar itna bolti ki chup karana mushkil ho jata tha, aaj wo itni shaant kyun pad gai hai? Kyun wo rang chle gae uski zindagi se? Kyun wo chaah ke bhi muskura nahi pa rhi hai? Kahin na kahin iska kasoorwaar wo khud ko hi manta tha.

Arnav ne bahut hi pyaar se usse baatein kar kar ke ice-cream khilayi, pure ek mahine ki baatein sunai, khud hi hansta, khud hi hasane ki thodi koshishein karta. Par Khushi yunhi leti rehti, bejaan si.

“Khushi, tumko wo saari ki showroom yaad hai jo ghar ke raaste me padta tha aur tum roz gaadi me kehti ye wali zyada achi hai, wow uska color kitna acha hai, jaise aadat me tha wo mod tumhare aur tumhare hi chakkar me mujhe aadat pad gai thi jab bhi guzarta hun to saree zrur dekhta hun vahan ki. Vaise aaj kal vahan dummy pe bht hi sundar pink and orange colour ki saree lgi hui hai, koi bolega to le ja sakta hun main shopping karane.”

Khushi par jaise asar hi nhi tha in baaton ka fir bhi Arnav laga rehta uske saamne apna dil khol kar rakhne me.

“Khushi, vaise main bahut gussa hun tumse, roz roz subh call karke utha dene ki jo aadat daal thi yahan tumne, foreign ja ke bas har subh tumhari baatein yaad aati thi, ki roz main late karta tha aur ye ladki late kar dye ho ye wo chillate rehti thi mujhpe. Haan maafi bhi mangna chahta hun, har roz tumhe late karva deta tha, tumne to kabhi kami ni chhodi mujhe waqt ka paband banane me, main hi kabhi samajh nahi paya ki waqt rett ki tarah behta hai. Meri Dhanno to aaj bhi intezaar kar ri hai ki uski madam kab baithhengi hava se baatein karte hue chillate rhengi.

Kya ho gaya hai ye Khushi tumhe? Main pyaar karta hun tumse aur humesha krunga, din raat ghante seconds, shayad yhi wajah hai jo har mahine ke last Sunday tumse date karne aata hun foreign se. Meri to saari khushiyan tum ho, mera inspiration, meri strength sab tum ho, fir humare darmiyaan ye kaise faasle aa gae.”

Ankhon ko kuch pochte hue usne aage kaha,

“Tumhe ek baat btaun, wo suji ka halva bahut tasty banaya tha tumne, main to yunhi chhed raha tha ki acha khana ni banane aata tumhe.

Tum samjhi hi nahi itni pagal thi. Tumhe kya lagta hai main samajhta nhi tha ki tum apne chacha chachi ke bartaav se preshan rehti thi. Ve tumpe roz is qadar prataadit karte hain ki tum uth ni pati un baaton se. Main to saath dena chahta tha, fir kyun mujhse ladai ki aur majbur kia sab chhod ke jane ke liye?

Main to tumhari ek muskurahat ke liye kya nhi kar deta Khushi? Tumhe yaad hai na, har function ke pehle tum sir khate rehti thi mera, jeetna hai bas jeetna hai mujhe keh keh ke tang kar dia karti thi, jungli billi ki tarah aur hum dono ka luck itna acha rehta ki har bar pehle puri raat ladai krte aur subh se tum mere sir pe khadi rehti- aae kyun ni ab tak, ye chahye wo karna hai aur fir har baar jeet ke jo khushi tumhare chehre pe rehti na, kayal ho jata main to uska.”

Ye kaisa rishta tha, jahan pyaar to tha par dard se kam. Ek taraf Khushi jo apne dard apne me hi rakhti chli gai, aur dusri taraf na jaante hue bhi Arnav un dard pe marham lagate chla gya.

Kaun janta tha ki wo milenge, fir milenge par faasle itne ho jaenge ki na jiya jaega na hi raha jaega.

Kuch faisle zindagi badalte hain to kuch humein khud badal dete hain. 3 saal ho gae un yaadon ko fir bhi yaadein reh hi jati hain.

Unke bich ki in barfili baaton ka koi or chhor naa tha ab. 2 saal ho gae the dono ko alag hue, aur 1saal se Khushi depression me chali gai thi, uske ghar walon ne use pagal khaane laake rakh dia tha. Kuch doston se pata chala tha uski haalat ke baare me to daudta hua Arnav milne chala aya tha. Aur fir har mahine hi ata, usse baatein karta, purani bisri baatein yaad dilata, is koshish me ki ek bar wo uthegi aur uski Khushi ki tarah chehkegi. Par na wo waqt aa raha tha na wo muskurahatein. Haan wahan ki ward incharge batati thi ki kabhi kabhi raat me Khushi diwaron pe kuch likhti thi aur subh tak mita deti thi, shayad use hosh ata ho par kuch derr ki hi baat hti thi. Arnav ne shadi ke baare me socha hi nahi kabhi, aur jabse Khushi ke bare me jana to sochne ki kalpana bhi nhi ki thi. Haan uspe gussa zrur ata use ki kaash mera saath de deti to use aaj sabse khush rakhta par jo bhaagya me likha hota hai use koi mita nhi sakta.

Arnav ke jaane ka samay ho gya tha. Bahut hi bhari mann se jate hue Khushi ka hath pakad lia usne- “Khushi ye haath mujhe apni zindagi me chahye, humesha ke liye. Tum sirf meri ho. Aur mera pyaar hi tumhe vapas meri Khushi bna dega. Tumhe chhod ke yun jane ka mann to nahi hota hai par tumne majboor bana dia hai mujhe. Har bar wo akhri raat yaad aati hai jab tumhare sath baithh ke taare dekh raha tha, tum bhi chup thi main bhi chup tha. Bas ansu nhi ruk pa rahe the. Mujhe agli subh niklna jo tha. Aaj lagta hai tumhari is haalat ka zimmedar main hun. Tum to humesha se pagal hi thi, par maine kyun saath chhod dia tumhara? Sirf ladai kar li tumne islye? Itne kamzor ho gya mera pyaar. Main fir aunga, aur umeed karta hun ki mujhe meri Khushi jaldi hi mil jaegi.”

Ye keh ke Arnav chala gya, sister aa to gai thi par har bar ki tarah Arnav ki ankhein dekh kar kuch keh ni pai.

“Khushi tum kaisa hai, Arnav baba tumko itna pyaar karta hai, tum uske liye to thik ho hi sakta hai na. Wo tumse milne itni dur se ata hai, maine dekha hai uski ankhon me jaise tumhare alava koi chahye ich ni usko. Fir tum kyun nhi jaldi thik hota hai re baba. Hum to aisa ladka aaj tak nahi dekha, tum ko to happy hona chahye aur jaldi jaldi thk hona chahye”.

Sister Khushi ko daant rhi thi, pta nhi wo daant thi ya pyaar tha.

Agli subh Arnav ki flight thi. Abhi 1 ghante the check in karne me. Tabhi Arnav ki maa ka phone aya- “Main janti thi tum India me hi hoge aaj ki subh. Kaisi hai wo?”

Maa ki in baaton ko sunn kar Arnav bas itna hi keh paya- “Bahut khubsoorat hai Maa”.

“Tumse baaton me kab jeet paungi main. Laut rahe ho? EK adh din ki chhutti lke yahan bhi aa jate.”

“Aunga Maa, apni Khushi ke sath aunga, jaldi hi.”

“Main intezaar karungi, thik se jana vapas aur khabar kar dena apne pahunchne ki.”

Maa ka phone rakh ke abhi kuch soch bhi pata Arnav ki fir se phone bajne laga.

“Arnav Baba, jaldi se aa jao, Khushi.. Khushi…”

Bas itni hi awaaz aai ki Arnav ko jaise jahan mil gya tha. Uske saare sapne pure hone wale the. Khushi thik ho gai thi. Pagalon ki tarah sab bhul kar daud hi gya jaise wo. Mann me itni kalpanayein lke jaise yakeen hi nahi ho ra tha ki Maa se jo kaha abhi ki jaldi hi Khushi ko lke aega wo pura hone wala tha, uski Khushi use milne wali thi, wo muskurahat dubara dikhne wali thi jispe wo baar baar marr chuka tha, wo awaaz fir se uske kaano me aane wali thi jise sunne ko itna intezaar kia usne.

Wahan pahunch kar aaj to sign bhi nhi kia Arnav ne, kaka awaaz dete reh gae par jab zindagi yun kadam pe sab kuch rakh de to dhadkanon ko kaun rok pata hai.

Andar sabki awaazein aa ri thi, ward incharge, asylem head, room cleaner sab aaj ward no. 82 me khade the. Daudte hue jab Arnav wahan pahuncha to saamne uski Khushi baithhi thi. Ab bhi utni hi khubsurat lag rahi thi jaisa wo use chhod ke chala gya tha.

Par ye kya, uski awaaz nahi aa rhi thi, wo hans nhi rhi thi, aaj to uski patthar hui ankhein bhi band thi aur ansu ki ek dhara ankhon se kaano tak nishaan bnai thi jaise raat bhar bht roi ho pagal aur chup ho gai ho. Arnav ki duniya kuch ghanton me badal gai thi, ya yun kahun ki khatm hi ho gai thi. Khushi ne aatmhatya kar li thi. Arnav bhaagta hue use apni godd me le lia aur cheekh ke rone laga. Us sannate me sirf Arnav ka dard bol raha tha, jise Khushi ab sunn bhi nhi skti thi.

Pyaar kaisi chiz hoti hai, hum badi badi cheezon me pyaar dhundhte hain, khushiyan dhundhte hain par wo to un chhoti si muskurahaton me hoti hai jo saamne wale ke chehre pe apki wajah se hai. Kabhi hum pyaar ka intehaan lene lagte hain par jab palat ke pyaar intehaan leta hai to zindagi jaise bikhar si jati hai.

Ye kaisa manjar tha, abhi to sochne lag gya tha koi deewana ki uski zindagi vapas aa gai, aur abhi sirf cheekhein gunj ri hain uski. Wo apni Khushi ko baahon me lene ka intezaar jaane kabse hi kar raha tha, suna tha kabhi ki jisse pyaar karo wo apki baahon me ho to saansein thamm jati hain, par itni thamm gai Khushi ki saansein ye yakeen na tha.

Sister ne kuch sambhala use aur kaha ki aaj pehli bar Khushi ne diwaar pe kuch likha aur mitaya nhi hai, shayad uske liye hi likh pai wo aakhri shabd.

Arnav ne khud ko sambhaalte hue diwar ki taraf dekha, aur jo padha usse peeda itni badh gai ki shayad bachi hui saansein kam pad jaengi apni takleef bhulaane ke liye.

“Arnav,

Main janti thi tum zaroor aoge, mujhse lade bina sukun kahan milta tha tumhe. Par pta ni kab hanste hanste main itni chup ho gai Arnav.

Hum itna lade, itte ache dost rahe, tumhe bhi pata tha ki mere ghar ki sthiti kaisi hai, wo to bas kisi tarah khush rehne ki koshish kar leti thi main. Aaj bhi ladungi ki humesha chicken bnate the na jab pta tha main nhi khati hun aur main kuch bna dun to itne nakhre ki ye ni acha wo ni acha.

Kyun chale gae tum, bina koi shabd kahe?

Tumhare jane ke baad jaise mujhe hasne ki wajah hi nhi mili kabhi aur main kab hasna bhul gai pta hi nhi chala mujhe. Tumhari tarah strong nahi thi main, jhallad hi thi bas ghar tod ni sakti thi par khud ko todti gai aur kab bejaan ho gai pta hi nhi chala.

Dekho na aaj jab aae ho to main patthar ho chuki hun. Main jeena nhi chahti, kyun har bar tumhari aankhon me sirf pyaar dikhta hai, par wo pyaar jiske liye tha ab main vaisi reh nhi gai. Shayad main kabhi bol na paun, shayad kabhi hans na paun, fir tumhara mujhse ab to dur rehna hi sahi hai.

Bas ek sawal jehan me humesha reh jaega Arnav, kya jana zaroori tha? Kya ruk nhi sakte the? Aur mujhe jane ki khabar bhi tab di jab rok nhi sakti thi.

Mera kaha manna, tumhari Khushi tabhi khush hogi, itne aage jaana ki mere aur apne dono ke sapne pure kar pao.

Aur haan, kasam me nhi bandhungi, par agar ho paya to shadi kar lena, shayad wo meri tarah pagal na ho.

Jab dard hadd se zyada badh jata hai to saare ehsaas khatm ho jate hain, reh jata hai to sirf adhurapan, bas ab aur jee nhi sakti, tumhari ankhon me mujhe dekh ke jo takleef hoti hai wo ab dekh nhi paungi.

Mujhe maaf kar do har takleef ke liye, mujhe maaf kar do meri har bhool ke liye.

 

Tumhari Khushi…

 

Bas itni si hi to baat kehni thi, na Arnav Khushi ko takleef me dekh saka na khushi use. Fir kyun aksar hum aisi galtiyan kar dete hain, ki jisse pyaar ho use zahir na kar sakein? Kyun jana zaruri ho jata hai thheherna nahi? Kyun pyaar ka sach tabhi pta chalta hai jab manzil nahi mil pati? Waqt rehte jee lene me kya takleef ho jati hai, waqt rehte izhar karne me kya takleef ho jati hai? Kya pyaar karte hain soch lena hi kafi hai, use nibhana nahi?

Sneh to mann ka hota hai, fir itna kamzor kaise ki chhoti chhoti ladai jhagde se khatam ho jae?

Ye sawal agar khatm ho jaen, to koi deewana roega nahi aur koi pagal ladki apni jaan yun vyarth hi nahi de degi.

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